Neither of us felt entirely well
yesterday. We spent a lot of the day in bed, punctuated by the
necessary discipline of breakfast, lunch, tea and supper. Radio 4, of
course, and I thought I understood them to say that today would be a
Day of Knitting, beginning with a knitted Shipping Forecast.
It seemed unlikely, and today began
with the usual Shipping Forecast and went on to much talk about the
Greek election with no mention of knitting. (What Greece clearly
needs is a good old-fashioned devaluation. It will e interesting to
see if they get it.)
A bit of Googling reveals that this
is what they were talking about – a knitted Radio 4 Day.
Delightful.
And speaking of links, Kate Davies'
blog for January 23 has this one, to a
radio program about Shetland and knitting. It's time-limited, but
we've still got the better part of a month. I have just found my way
to it, and mean to listen with my breakfast. It begins with a line or
two about the expense of raising children and you think you've gone
to the wrong place.
Actual knitting went well yesterday –
I finished one of the two balls of wool attached to Archie's sleeve
and found, as I expected, that everything goes a lot better with only
one. I should wind and attach a whole new skein today, and henceforth
will not worry about colour discrepancies.
Non-knit
Thank you for your help with elderly
care. A friend has directed us to the Edinburgh City Council website
about Care in the Home. Greek Helen rang them up a while ago, and had
hoped that someone could come round to assess us while she was here
last weekend. That didn't happen, but at least the woman rang up and
has made an appt to come the next time Helen is here – in six
weeks' time, if all goes well with David's operation.
I don't think we actually need help
quite yet. We have a good, strong, trustworthy cleaning woman who
keeps the worst of the squalor at bay and does the ironing. I don't
really do much besides cook (and knit). But we need to make plans for
what to do if I am incapacitated, and for how to cope when my
husband's needs become greater.
I am reassured by what you tell us about your situation re. care. I still worry about how much better things could have been managed if my father had not been so bone-headed about accepting help. Of course, part of that was the advancing dementia, but it still could have been a lot nicer than it was. I do hope you can get what you both need.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great idea to think about help when you don't feel that you need it quite yet. But, you have mentioned your concern about bathing, and the stress of various appointments...
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine had to organise care for her father (in Edinburgh) when he became rather unwell. She found that he was happiest with a male carer, particularly when it was someone he saw regularly...
I listened to the Shetland program yesterday, and then the previous one on Shetland whalers. Most interesting. Another voice for good-to-plan-ahead. These things can be much easier to figure out when not under pressure. Off to read about the Greek election.
ReplyDeleteI think you do need help now. The stress of meeting your husbands needs and demands seems to be a growing burden, and its far better to get things in place before a crisis. It was once my profession to arrange this, but after I left that job, I had to do the same for my parents and for my younger brother who died of cancer 4 years ago. It is always the case that care in the home works better when it is arranged when times are calm. Waiting till the crisis may mean that care in the home is impossible to arrange, and nursing home care is the only answer. Please take advantage of all they have to offer.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Jean. After taking care of both my parents and my mother in law I found it made a world of difference when you can make plans while you still have choices rather than waiting till a decision is forced upon you. The latter option is never the most desirable.Having said that these are very very hard things to think about much as less make firm decisions about so it is human nature to want to hesitate and approach it slowly and carefully. I found once a decision and a course of action was decided upon the stress level eased up significantly. Let your family help you it will be much easier on and for you. God bless.
ReplyDeleteIt is not only much easier to arrange for help when you don´t really need it, you also have choices. When you wait too long, you have to take what you can get. I know these are hard decisions. But I have seen so many situations where one spouse cared for the other until both of them needed help that I really must say take advantage of all you can get - now!
ReplyDeleteMay I suggest you contact the Carers' Support Service, here are the details:
ReplyDelete'Carers can contact the service for support or information by:
Tel: 0131 536-3371
Web: www.edinburgh.gov.uk/carersupport
They have much information and useful contacts, please do get in touch and talk to one of the people there. It is possible to employ a Personal Care Assistant (this may be the best option) and Carers' Support can explain how to do this. You don't need to wait 6 weeks, you can access the information you need now. Explain the situation, they will have met similar ones!
Best wishes, Helen