Monday, December 17, 2012


I’m not getting anywhere with this.

Anonymous, I do want most emphatically to say that my quarrel is not with single parents, but with absent fathers. This one seems to have been a bog-standard, middle-class middle-life divorce-after-28-years-of-marriage. I’m not greatly impressed with the father’s statement: “Our family is grieving along with all those who have been affected by this enormous tragedy.”

Which family is that, then?

Libby Purves wrote in the Times in 1997:

“The literature of parenthood deals overwhelmingly with the first few years, with bracingly simple issues like broken nights and ear infections and daycare. Perhaps it is as well for the species that nobody ever really expects 18 years of supervision and a lifetime of worry. I was fussing over a baby in a carrycot at a BBC seminar once when Bill Cotton, well retired by then, thundered: ‘You think it’s tough now. Just you wait until he’s fifty.’”

But when I stop to think about it, the majority of the suicides I have known or known of – one is far too many – have been the sons of stable marriages. Including the baby in the carrycot just mentioned – he didn’t make it to 50.

So I’d better not go on pontificating.

I think, in fact, I’ll pause here for the solstice.  I’m not doing at all well at trying to think about knitting. We should be back from Loch Fyne for the weekend at the end of the year.

A very happy solstice to all, however observed.  And sympathy to cat and her friends, who are about to find their light diminishing. 

20 comments:

  1. My very best wishes for your Christmas get together at Loch Fyne. I hope you find comfort in the company of your family.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:17 PM

    We will try our best to manage without having your daily reports to enjoy.
    Good luck with the knitting, and enjoy the holidays with your family.
    best wishes for 2013!
    Lisa in Toronto

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yesterday, in the announcements of the church, Fr. Chad recommended that we just turn the news OFF and use the time to pray...for them, for ourselves. In that spirit, I pray for peace of heart for you and a blessed Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Many blessings to you and yours on this Solstice. We will see you on the lighter side.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your remarks about absent fathers, etc. are not helpful in absorbing this terrible tragedy, especially your comment about the shooter's father. Comments should be kept to oneself and prayers/meditations should be shared in love.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The 1st day the New York Times reported the CT shooting there was also an article about a man in China who'd got berserk and injured 22 children. None were reported killed. The man had a knife.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Comments should be shared too,agree or disagree,freedom is too great a good to be muzzled. Wishing you a happy family gathering at Christmas and a happy beginn,ing of the new year

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thankyou Jean - would not mind the days getting shorter if they also got cooler, which they won't. (Believe me, nobody wants extreme heat any more than extreme cold.) Hope you all have a safe Christmas and a Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous8:47 PM

    May you have a Blessed Solstice gathering with your family. I look forward to reading your posts after the New Year. Take care - Joe-in Wyoming

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sarah JS9:25 PM

    Best wishes to you & yours this Solstice. Take care, keep warm, and looking forward to your posts once they start back up again.

    ReplyDelete
  11. csj042312:00 AM

    If still relevant and you don't already know her, you might check out the Techknitting Blog on Blogspot for 12/13/12. She describes fixing mistakes in Brioche Stitch. Her posts are all wonderful and this one made me think of you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous2:57 AM

    Jean, wishing you and your family a blessed and peace filled Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year! Looking forward to your posts following your respite at Loch Fyne. Margaret Mary from San Francisco.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hester from Atlanta8:21 PM

    Hello, if someone feels moved to publish their opinions about a horrible tragedy on their own blog, they have every right in the world to do so. If you don't like something, just scroll over it or delete. I think by letting people discuss issues, even if we don't agree with them, it brings us all closer together. Censorship should not be an issue.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Best wishes for a lovely holiday. And thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to seeing what you get up to when you get back.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jean, I appreciate reading your thoughts you've shared on your own blog. Those who leave negative comments are free to have their own blog rather than telling others how to blog.

    Happy Christmas & warmest wishes to you and yours! Enjoy your time with the family!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Most Popular and Famous Vehicles, Latest Speed Cars, Sports Cars Info and Pictures.
    worldlatestvehicles.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. I miss you, Jean. Hope everything / everyone is well.

    Happy Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I miss you, Jean. Hope everything / everyone is well.

    Happy Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thinking of you today, Jean - I'll be listening to the Lessons from King's and doing my baking. Big hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I keep looking out for your posts. I hope that you had a lovely time with your family.

    ReplyDelete