I have lost my iPad. I am distraught.
James gave it to me for my 79th birthday, two and a half years ago. I have never spent a day without it since. (I took it along to Thomas' and Lucy's wedding and read the new Simon Serallier book while we were there; didn't care for it much.) I have never mislaid it before, except for the occasional brief frisson of anxiety when it's not in its proper place, and then I remember I have plugged it in to recharge.
I had it here yesterday morning – I had a quick look at Zite before assuring you that there was no news from the outside world. Since then, nothing.
Ever since my keys de-materialised last summer – I was pacing about the house in Kirkmichael, clutching them in my left hand, waiting for my husband to come out of the bathroom so that we could head off to Edinburgh, when I suddenly realised that I was still clutching, but there were no keys in my hand – ever since then, I have panicked early whenever something – anything – can't be found.
This is different.
A newspaper columnist of whom I was fond many, many years ago – Paul Jennings might have been the name – devised a whole philosophical system he called Resistentialism – “things are against us”. Toast always falls to the floor butter-side down. I wish I could believe it was only that. I feel that a malign force is waiting, watching for the chance to snatch away the Things which are dearest to me.
So not much got done yesterday. I discovered the loss at midday and spent every free moment after that in the search. I didn't download and print the Sous Sous pattern, still less choose a yarn. I didn't knit much of the linen square – the yarn has got tangled to the point where it will have to be cut. One of you has sent me two partial skeins of Jaipur silk – beautiful! and I look forward to discovering what sort of fabric the two produce when knitted together. But that requires a measure of equilibrium which at the moment I haven't got.
I hope I'll have better news tomorrow. It must be somewhere (I tell myself, although I don't entirely believe it). I couldn't have thrown it in the rubbish or put it in the compost bin. The range of possible places is not all that large, because the wi-fi signal doesn't cover the whole house so the iPad never goes down to the other end. It must have insinuated itself under something, so that I can't see it.
The Six Nations tournament began yesterday with a thoroughly exciting rugby match, if I hadn't been so miserable. England beat Wales. Scotland play France in Paris today – that's usually a good match.