The iPad Story

But first…

Helen phoned last night from her friend’s house in France after an easier-than-expected journey, preceded by some good sleep on the ferry. They’ll stay there a few days before setting out for Venice and the ferry to Greece.

I’ve embarked on round 98 of the Mourning Shawl border. It should be finished and the centre started – including the first set of lace initials – before we go back to Strathardle. Progress, indeed.

Now, the iPad.

I’m going to love it, I can see that, but yesterday was tough. It comes with the most exiguous documentation you ever saw in your life – I’ve had toasters with fuller instructions. They obviously think you have an iPod or an iPhone and can jump right in. I don’t, and can’t.

I began by choosing “Mail” from the opening screen. I know about mail. The password set up by James to go with my BT Hub is one of those complicated ones with digits and letters and I must have done it wrong. I wasn’t offered a second chance. There I was with various mail options, all leading nowhere, and no way that I could see to get back to the beginning and start again.

I left it, nearly in tears, and went to cook lunch. That, at least, I can do. After a calming 20 minutes of making a Madhur Jaffrey sauce for curried eggs (she and I share not only a birthday but a birth-year) I calmed down and realised that somewhere there must be a button, real or virtual, which would take me back to base.

I tried again, and found it – it’s a real one, black on black, slightly recessed. The second time through I got the password right, and the iPad was henceforth on-line. A big step forward.

The next thing, since I wanted to try reading a book on it, was to download the free iBooks app and I thought the Kindle one, as well, would be a good idea. That means dealing with iTunes. Although the apps are free, I had to establish an Apple ID. OK.

To do that, I had to give them a credit card number (although all I wanted were free apps). OK.

Then Apple said that my credit card was not valid in the UK. That’s not true, but how to explain to a computer?

I tried approaching the problem from various directions, to no avail. Eventually I persuaded my husband – who remains rather dubious – to let me use his. That went through. Apple was totally unconcerned by my sudden change of name and sex. I got the apps.

The next problem was Amazon, who didn’t want to sell me the book because I didn’t have a Kindle. I’ve forgotten how I persuaded them that it was OK, but I did, and the transfer of the book to the iPad was absolutely astonishing in speed, especially at the end of such a day. I’m afraid it’s not tremendously good, but Ruth Rendell is Ruth Rendell and I will certainly carry on reading.

This morning I successfully subscribed to Piecework, using the iPad alone. But I need to download another free app in order to read it, and to do that I find myself taken back to wretched Apple who want me to re-enter my husband’s credit card’s security number. That’ll have to wait a couple of hours until he wakes up. I’ll remember it henceforth – and try to stay away from the Apple apps store if I can.

I think I may have to buy "iPad for Dummies" (on paper). How to clean the screen, to begin with. It's already looking smeary from all this touching.