Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Neither of the last two days were really all that strenuous, but I’m tired and am taking it easy today.

My husband is to come home, when we get the “package of care” –which could still be weeks away, or perhaps not. Carers will come in four times a day and will do all the moving. I am forbidden to attempt it. If we have a diarrhoea crisis, we ring somebody up. I still have to cook and do the washing and feed the cat and be at the receiving end of the bad temper. But we’ve got to try.

The Whiskey Barrel sock made progress yesterday – I’m not many days away from the heel.

I didn’t get any Uncia done yesterday, being totally shattered by the time I finally got home from the hospital; but I’ve done three whole rows this morning, and hope for more before the day is out.

I got an email the other day from Colorful Stitches about three rather wonderful shawls. I can’t seem to persuade it to come up as a web page. Two Manos, one Berroco, blocks of colour in all three cases.

The new Knitting magazine has, as usual, nothing to tempt me. I sometimes wonder whether my disdain is due to the fact that their photographs aren’t as brilliant as other people’s, but I think it’s not that. I think the patterns aren’t as good.

At the end of every issue we have the Purl Princess, who irritates me a good deal. But she has a point, this month – knitters wear shawls, and love them. But nobody else. “You can’t even buy them on the high street; perhaps a floaty chiffon wrap or a woven pashmina, but not a triangular, semi-circular, circular or square knitted shawl”.   

I am much tempted by the new television series called “National Treasure”. I recorded the first episode last night. Perhaps I’ll sit up tonight and watch it and get back to edging that hap for Emmett before he leaves for college.


  1. Anonymous11:58 AM


    If you think a care home would be a better solution, you must push for it. Get the kids involved, especially Alexander and James. I'm sorry to say, but I think men are still very much more likely to be listened to than women by the medical establishment.

    If he absolutely must cone home, I still think medicating him to relieve some of the bad temper would help a lot. Have you expressed this concern to the docs? I think his behavior edges towards emotional abuse, even if his intent is not abusive. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Nowadays there are so many meds that could just take that edge off without making him dozey.

    As for the cooking etc., could Gosia come in and do the washing? And of course help with other housework? And maybe Helen could cook a meal or two each week?

    I'm sure you will want to retain the privilege of feeding Her Royal Catness yourself.

    I'm so sorry this all has to be so hard for you.

    Bevely in NJ

    1. I agree with all of this.

      And do remember that venting is helpful in keeping one's sanity and you have us to vent to as often as needed.

    2. I agree as well. In fact my very thoughts this morning here in the US midwest not too far from Oberlin.


  2. Oh dear, I am so worried thinking about your situation. His bad temper may be due to frustration at his situation, but it's dreadful that you have to endure it. My mother used to become so angry at such unexpected times that it would always take me by surprise. By then she was so disconnected from reality that there was no point in trying to reason with her.
    Do others see the rage or is it saved for you? If he is used to being able to let loose on you, he may not be willing to listen if you try to object to being the recipient of his bad temper, whereas someone else might be able to make more of an impression on him. (Hoping so anyway)

  3. The care home may not have a room at this moment, but it is in the nature of such homes that as an occupant passes on, so their room becomes available. I do hope that you put your name on the waiting list.
    There is an agency called Helping Hands which will supply a live-in carer. What this would be like in practice I don't know, but it might be worth considering in the short term.

  4. I understand that you want to try. Living with another's temper is not pleasant, and the more frustrated that person is, the worse it gets. Sending warm wishes for the best outcomes for all.

  5. You're right about shawls. Only knitters "get" them. I made one for my mom and I think she thinks it's a granny thing. I wrap myself in it when I visit.
    Knowing he can come home to you and Perdita will keep your husband's spirits up.

  6. I understand that you feel you have got to try. But that doesnt mean you have to persevere if you find it isnt working for you, for whatever reason.

    Could you set yourself a time limit of maybe a month, and see it as a trial to find out if this will work?

    I second the idea to get Gosia in to do as much as possible, and have help with the cooking too.

    Sending vibes about your husbands temper too. No matter what the age or frustration, no-one has the right to take it out on someone else the way he appears to. It is not part of your marriage vows to be treated to his temper this way. He promised to cherish you, didnt he?

  7. I actually saw some knitted ponchos for sale at Cracker Barrel today and there are quite a few non-knitters around here who wear shawls. Might be a weather thing, a shawl is quite practical here most of the year to protect from arctic AC.
    And however frustrated he is, he shouldn't be taking it out on you. My mom and I have been dealing with an extremely frustrating situation lately (car accident, car totalled, arguing with insurance, ect) and yeah, we both get frustrated and snap at each other, but we then apologize and try to deal with the frustration in other ways (I suggest writing out rants, I find it quite helpful, and my mom vents to her friends).
    Best of luck and hugs and hopefully everything goes smoothly!