Tuesday, May 31, 2022

 Guess what? A quiet day. But a good one. Physiotherapy again. I feel I have inched forward. If I can just set myself a program and stick to it at home as I have here. Likewise with eating. Mealtime conversation is a good deal less than scintillating here, but I think it is good for me to sit down at regular hours and eat decent food.(I do the latter at home; not always the former.)

C. came to see me. Tomorrow a couple whom we met on our first joint cruise, a year ago, are coming, inspired by C. who has kept in touch with them.

Knitting went well. Mostly I seemed to clutch the needles inertly while I read another few pages, or watched another game or two of the French Open tennis. But I must have done a bit better than that, as it — the body of Kate Davies’ Lilias Day — now measures 11”. Three to go!

Thank you very much indeed for your comments and messages about Life and Old Age. There’s no easy answer. Rachel said during our Zoom conference on Sunday that she has two elderly friends who strenuously rejected live-in care but when it was forced upon them rapidly became best friends with their carers. I don’t   think it would be so with me, and my house would need a certain amount of (expensive) adaptation to make it suitable for someone else to live there. The spare room is fine for a friend for a few nights.

And, Janet in Seattle, you mention in your recent comment, the gravest problem of all. Never mind the shower in the downstairs lavatory — what about MY CATS? 

Wordle: two of the people in our little group — there are five of us altogether, counting me — did a tad worse than I did today. That doesn’t often happen. 


  1. =Tamar7:56 PM

    I believe Janet's comment about missing her cat was about a care home, not a live-in carer. Of course your carer, if there is one, would have to be able to accept the presence of cats. Also, I would have expected that even live-in carers have an alternate location to keep most of their belongings; I would not expect it to be like hiring a Victorian nanny. A good sized guest bedroom is probably fine, if it comes to that. Meanwhile, a commode near the bed is probably a good idea, comforting even if you never need it.
    It's wonderful how knitting grows as long as any knitting is done; inching forward is exactly the description. It's not generally a competitive sport.

  2. Anonymous9:43 PM

    When my mother-in-law reached a certain degree of frailty, her sons hired a day-time carer. MIL objected fiercely at first, but soon agreed that the carer was a huge help, and, yes, they became friends. They were vastly different in ethnic background and religion, but I think that actually helped, as they taught each other about their way of life.

    My husband and his brothers took turns sleeping over, which was pretty inconvenient, but they made it work. They did have a bedside commode for her. There were no cats to consider, though I think there were cucumbers.

    I hope you figure out something that works for all.

    Beverly in NJ.

  3. It is good that you and your family are tackling this head on. My mom has a young woman from down the street do light cleaning and shopping for her but she will probably be leaving by the end of the year for the Navy. My mom needs to start looking for a helper soon but it is difficult to overcome her distrust of humanity. Unfortunately neither myself or my brother live close by so it means short monthly trips on our part to check in and do chores.

  4. Anonymous9:56 PM

    As always, I am happy to see a post from you, Jean, and I also enjoy reading all the comments.
    Glad you are seeing progress with the knitting.
    Today, for the first time, I failed at Wordle! And I had 3 letters in the right place at the third attempt. I kept guessing wrong! My sisters and I do it every day and post our results to our joint message link. Fun, even when you come up empty!
    Sarah (in Manhattan)

  5. Anonymous4:59 PM

    My husband and I are selling our home of the last 32 years and are moving into a rental house in a senior community. The house has help buzzers for emergencies, activities at the main building, and meals delivered if you want/need them. My husband was dead set against it until my children pointed out that our lives weren’t just about him. I need the security of knowing there is help close at hand because he is the older, more wobbly partner. We move in July 1. I’m hoping this goes well.Going through a lifetime of clutter has been very difficult, especially for him.