Helen came this morning and we made a tentative start on the Elephant in the Room: the question of what is to become of me. There is not all that much point in staying here when I can’t walk. And we seem to have more or less decided against surgical hip replacement.
Cramond, where I was before, is a bit inconveniently located and not a bundle of laughs. We are going to start by investigating a place recommended by a friend whose mother lives there. Perdita would have to go back to living with Helen and her family.
But, oh dear. I keep feeling, as I’ve probably already said, that I’ll be better soon. And of course I won’t. This time it’s different. But we must also press on with the notion of a motorised wheelchair. That might make a big difference.
Knitting progressed slightly. I’m nearly finished with the current ball of yarn — the third? Or only second? Your comment worries me, Mary Lou. This thing doesn’t have a button band, of course, but it does have prominent st st welts at cuff and waist and especially collar. I’ve got two whole skeins of toning yarn for those. The pattern calls for a change of needle size. They certainly mustn’t be allowed to droop.
Wordle: Four was the predominant score today — me, Thomas, Alexander, Roger and Theo. Ketki had five, Mark a brilliant two; most uncharacteristic silence from Rachel.
Jean, I am glad you are seriously considering the future. A motorised chair is a good idea, especially one that can be driven outdoors. Make sure, wherever you reside, that going outdoors is ''allowed'' accompanied by staff/family/friend. keep taking care xxxxx
ReplyDeleteA motorised wheelchair is a great idea! And at least you needn't worry any more about what would become of the cats.
ReplyDeleteAs my own level of mobility declines (lung problems causing breathlessness) I am beginning to eye up the future, too and I'm only 67. In my case my thoughts revolve about bathroom safety, stairlifts and building a downstairs loo... Sooner, rather than too late seems to be the way to approach these issues.
Dear Jean, since you have posed the issue here, I shall comment. You say today that "There is not all that much point in staying here when I can’t walk". That gave me two thoughts. Firstly, when you were hesitating between staying at Cramond or coming home, you said Alexander came to see you, and described a neighbour who was completely bedridden but was managing to remain at home with appropriate care. He said to you that if what you wanted was to be at home, you could be - whatever your mobility. And here you are. So if what you want more than anything is to be at home, in your own place, with your own possessions and your own choices over mealtimes and menus and so on, then that is surely the "point" of being in the flat.
ReplyDeleteBut that leads to "theme two". If you are going to remain unable to walk, then the flat as a location means you are effectively housebound because of the challenges of getting down the steps. So it seems to me that the choice you are making is between the flat - with limited access to anywhere else - and a suitable residential accommodation from which you could hopefully sally forth to do all kinds of things in a wheeled chair of some sort. A friend who can only walk a few steps, but who is in accommodation with a lift access to ground level and no steps to prevent departure, manages to visit garden centres and famous gardens, parks, exhibitions, shops - all kinds of places. Would these be things you would like to do, if someone was available to transport and accompany you?
Or would the solution be to find a way of getting in and out of the flat, so you could have the amenities of home AND the option of outings?
How does one balance home comforts over outdoor access and variety of scene? That's a hard one. I think the problem with elder citizens' residential accommodation in the UK is that people tend not to consider it until they are unable to manage at home, and therefore although there may be lots of interesting sounding activities listed, in fact most residents are too frail to participate in them. My Mother in law is very happy indeed in her Glasgow care home, but the activities tend towards colouring-in and bingo, which I don't think would appeal to you!
My father was also in a very pleasant home, but the activities required more concentration than he could manage.
Good luck with exploring the residential options around you. Hopefully you will find somewhere which would make a pleasant environment for you.
PS I find that sometimes it helps to have a written list of the "pros" and "cons" of each option, perhaps also giving each a value of 1 to 3 depending on how important I feel it is to me.
JennyS
Dear Jean, while reading Jenny S’s Comment it popped into my head that - for either choice - a large-ish screen TV and the ability to Zoom and Face Time and what ever else is available could greatly enrich your day-to-day activities and mental gymnastics (as I tend to characterize them). So far you have scarcely mentioned these options (I vaguely remember a Skype comment). These days there is so much available online, both interactive and mostly relatively passive. You obviously have a vigorous mind and strong social sense. And the Internet feeds both of them. Perhaps you can hire a computer expert - or Alexander - to hook you up with whatever interests you if you don’t have those things already. And of course, nothing beats a motorized wheelchair for convenience, a certain amount of independence and even, a sense of adventure - all those rolling walks through museums and beautiful gardens - or just getting outside. I don’t know how cumbersome that hip pain is at the moment, but if that can be managed, I see a rather adventurous and interesting future ahead of you provided you have help - which you are willing to ask for. And see if you can do some upper body chair exercises on a daily basis for circulation. My mother who became both physically infirm and visually impaired was still able to walk me through a knitting conundrum or two when I became newly enthusiastic in my late 50’s. I would love to see what is lying ahead of you once you get that motorised chair! Chloe
ReplyDeleteP.S. … when I said “social sense” I meant you are very sociable and love being around people. I didn't mean social activism which is a different topic entirely. Chloe
ReplyDeleteI looked at the Spalding pattern on Ravelry and I don't think they are in much danger of sagging. My cardigan is aran wt and the button band is wide. Perhaps not the best design decision!
ReplyDeleteMy late husband, blind and with very limited mobility ,stayed at home, with me as Carer, until he passed away last year. We had a small army of carers 4 times a day to assist with washing , dressing etc. Social services provided a house wheelchair for room to room moving. Television for sound, radio for audio books etc. We could have had a live in Carer but it want necessary as I was here.
ReplyDeleteI dont know if social services in Scotland are the same is in UK, but ours were as helpful as they could be. It is such a difficult decision but for us it was the right one. I hope you work through your decisions.
Scotland is still part of the UK. However, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland have different social care systems. The named countries are all part of the UK, but Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland's governments have powers/responsibilities devolved to them, including for their heath services and social care.
ReplyDelete