Thursday, July 02, 2015

Not much of a day, yesterday.

My husband is now back into full-scale get-me-out-of-here mode. I came home from the visit shattered, unable even to knit. I dread today's session.

I don't know as much as I should about home care. I suspect I'm about to learn a fair amount. I know it was provided promptly and wonderfully for my husband's sister when she was dying. She was able to live at home, with a daughter's assistance, until the last fortnight, and the carers came to the funeral.

I sort of feel that the fact that it's free is part of Sturgeon's Socialist Paradise. It will be provided by City of Edinburgh social services, I think, rather than actual NHS nurses. All advice, backed up by common sense, recommends waiting until they're ready to start. A private care company is, however, coming tomorrow to case the joint.

I wonder whether I'm going to be capable of running with the ball when it is passed to me.


I've read on a bit in “The Ravell'd Sleeve”, marvelling at a realm of knitting I could never aspire to. Ten-inch square swatches, washed and blocked. I've now moved on to reading about selvedge stitches. It occurs to me that this is essentially Mary Thomas' (of “Knitting Book” fame) style of things – in perfect harmony with the patterns in the Vogue Knitting Books, especially the early ones, of which I have now completed my collection.

And it was from this “couture” view that EZ rescued us, taking knitting back to its peasant roots – circular knitting – and “unventing” from there.

Lots of exciting tennis today – and knitting, I hope.


No more news from Helen, but I've had a thot. 

The Greeks annually celebrate "ohi day", when they said "no" to an ultimatum from Mussolini. We've been there for Ohi Day, much parading of school children. By framing Sunday's referendum so that a "no" vote is mud-in-the-eye to the Europeans in suits, Mr Tsipras is surely hoping to draw on reserves of popular patriotism. Has Mrs Merkel even heard of Ohi Day?

("ohi" or "ochi" is Greek for "no". It is the ancient word. Is it the only Indo-European language not to have an "n" sound in the negative word?)


  1. I am concerned at how much the hospital visiting is draining you. Could you skip a day and get some rest? or talk to someone medical there about how your husbands frustration is affecting you? I assume your husband knows its not in your hands to remove him?

    I hope your kitten is giving lots of comfort to you.

  2. Anonymous10:58 AM

    If things work as they do in England then your responsibilities will be clearly set out within the overall care plan. My friend experienced this fairly recently when setting up a plan for her father who is in his 90s and lives alone. Carers come in several times a day to help with getting up, preparing and serving meals, small amounts of shopping. Family members were factored in and consulted about what they could realistically do living at a distance. My friend visits weekly and does the main shop,changes the bed, does the washing and ironing. It's likely there will also be some sort of rapid response service so that if your husband needs help when he is left alone he can call or press a button. He may need to wear a pendant around his neck. There are also voluntary services who can offer a lot such as befriending services where a buddy could visit say once a week which would free you up to leave the house for a few hours. An up-to-date mobile phone with all contacts up to date and charged daily will provide peace of mind so now might be the time to invest in not one but two iPhones/smart phones, you could talk to your children about this as it may be possible to synch to whatever they use and they could also hold the lists of contacts to ensure everything runs smoothly. You will also need to have discussions about key holding arrangements along with a local keyholder if you don't already have one. These people are very experienced at putting together care packages and covering all eventualities so should guide you through it all and consult you carefully about your part in it all and what you can realistically do or would like to do as part of the daily arrangement.

    With all good wishes!

  3. And the Greek for yes sounded like No to me. Even the head gestures for yes and no seemed opposite - very confusing. I hope today is better.

  4. skeindalous1:40 PM

    If you possibly can, wait for the national health service to come to the rescue. Here in the US, private care can drain a family's resources in record time.
    You must be kind to yourself, too, both for yourself, and for the ultimate good care of your husband.

    'Knit on, with confidence and hope, through all crises!"---EZ

  5. Anonymous2:16 PM

    "No" in Finnish is "ei." No N sound there!
    I really enjoy reading your blog. Like many commenters, you almost seem like family, and I worry when you are absent!
    Becky in Vermont

  6. No option just to leave him there until he promises not to leave you "shattered"? Because it sounds as if getting out will be okay for him, it's you that it's going to drive into an early grave .

    I've got an aggressively shouty husband too btw, and I've already told him he's getting slung in the old folks home if he starts giving me extra grief as an old man.

    You do need a Plan B if it starts getting too much for you to have him at home.

  7. Nothing really to add to the comments above except I want to let you know i send you and your family the best wishes and hope for a good outcome when your husband arrives home.

  8. In Lebanon, where my husband grew up, they squeeze their eyes shut and open them wide (eyebrows up!) for yes and no gestures. I can never remember which is which.

  9. Anonymous1:52 AM

    Stall them. For one, sending him home is not your decision, nor your responsibility. Lobbying to get him home earlier than recommended is asking for trouble, both medically (for both of you) and financially.

    For you, Jean, you'd just begun to relax a bit, get some rest, enjoy your kitty and your quiet time, and that's crucial to YOUR well-being. Someone's got to tell your husband he can't come home unless he behaves himself and stops bullying you. After all, what will he do when he wears you out?

    (I'm Jan Hughes, but don't have any accounts, so have to comment as Anonymous...)